We Need to Talk
North Greenville University Chapel, February 2026
(video courtesy NGU Productions)
WE NEED TO TALK
Randall E. King
North Greenville University
(as prepared)
February 18, 2026
(full message at this link)
There’s a quiet revolution going on in my office.
Actually..not so quiet….Most days, if you walk down our hallway on your way to Chick-Fil-A, you’re going to hear the sound of good old-fashioned conversation in the School of Communication.
They might be buzzing about their last class (that would be cool), some game they broke through to the next level. Sometimes it’s even about what belongs in the canon – no, not the Biblical canon…the Star Wars canon.
We call them the “Lobby Guys”.
Now to be equitable, Lobby Guys includes quite a few young ladies, too…but, “Persons of the Lobby” just does not brand.
They’re talking…talking…talking….about almost anything. And sometimes they get louder, and louder and I have to SHUT MY DOOR because I CAN’T GET ANYTHING DONE !!!
Well…all of that was true, except the last part.
I love…the Lobby Guys.
I love walking across this campus and seeing some of you not on your phones, but chatting it up.
I love walking in Plaster Hall, to see how the other half lives – I like your bathrooms too, by the way. But I really like those common spaces and student workrooms with glass filled with you guys not looking at your laptops..but looking and talking to each other.
I love it when I see students doing what Kylie Thurston did to me a couple of semesters ago.
Kylie, where you at?
See..I knew she would be in chapel.
The lobby guys….not so much.
Kylie comes up to me on one of those gorgeous afternoons…when I was taking my office hours out on the swings.
“How you doing Dr. King?
“Can I pray for you and your students?”
Now..that wasn’t awkward…it wasn’t cheesy….that was Kylie.
Because….I know her heart.
Kylie made it through Hurricane Helene..and Dr. King’s Oral Comm class…in the same semester!
I think she even got the t-shirt.
But that’s who she is…and that’s North Greenville.
Sometimes we call it a bubble…but that bubble is real y’all. One day you’re going to miss it.
But not everyone is in on the secret of the bubble… right nearby you someone is missing out. They’re living on their phone..or memories of back home…or some game…anything that passes the time and fills the loneliness.
You’ve heard the stats, we heard more on Monday…electronic communication is off the charts…but so is loneliness.
We’re more connected and more DIS-connected at the same time.
Now...if you were here last spring, I’m the prof who dared to share his screen time right here in chapel…and let’s just say..it wasn’t a good look. But that little embarrassment inspired me to get more serious about my screen and media usage more than anything I’ve ever done in 25 years of teaching media literacy.
I can tell you…the screen time is lower now…and I’ve been thinking a lot about what happens when we cut back.
So what if YOU were to back down on your phone or your gaming today or your music today….
What would you do with all that extra time?
Read your Bible?
Pray ?
I don’t know…read the textbook…before class? (I’d like that)
I hope..all of the above, but what I want to talk a little about today is what else we should do when get back those hours.
Last summer, I was trying to get through the New Testament..systematically and came across a verse in 2nd John I would have missed if I’d just been picking a verse here and there…because 2nd John is this little short letter ….about this long…It’s the disciple John writing to a lady and her child at a church:
Listen to how he closes:
“ Though I have much to write to you, I would rather not use paper and ink. Instead I hope to come to you and talk face to face, so that our joy may be complete.” 2 John 12.(NIV)
Did you catch that?
Let me give it to you in the K-R-V, the King Randall Version:
“I’ve got a lot to say and I really don’t want to text, or even call you. It’s too important for that. I want to come see you – in person – that will make us all very happy”
John who was…one of the 12…didn’t want to use media …
He wanted…a conversation with a fellow believer… all while telling her how to watch out for false teachers.
Now what about us?
What will make our joy…complete?
My message today is really simple…
We Need…to Talk.
(Prayer)
Before we go any further..let’s talk first to the Lord about our great need for Him and for each other:
Lord…you gave us life…you also gave us voice. Help us today to decide what we are supposed to do with both…to your glory and for your kingdom, amen.
I. We need to Talk WITH each other
First things first…We need to talk WITH each other.
Not at…not past…not around…
WITH each other, in person, real time. I speak, you listen, you speak, I listen - back and forth, use words…and..get this…turn your body my direction…head up…. Look at me.
We think we know how to do this…and while I’M so happy I see more of it on this campus than anywhere else I go in public, I’m guessing y’all still need to work on it as much as I do.
I see some of you sometimes hanging out at coffee shops… a whole group out together..all on your phones.
Is that what dating looks like, today, too?
I’m very old and very married and I can’t get away with that when we go out.
We want to blame this on phones and devices, but I came across an interesting data point the other day in The Atlantic..the only stats I will give you today.
This study is from a book called Generations shows the percentage of high school seniors in America who said they went out with friends more than twice a week.
Look at these trend lines– Boys in blue, girls in red. And notice where it starts and stops…1976…to 2020.
You can map some of that to change phones and so-called social media…but the other thing I noticed is the data stops in 2020. We like to blame everything on phones or COVID…but hanging out and talking has been dropping for decades.
So trust me…it’s not just you crazy kids on your phones, it’s me…it’s us.
Sidenote. - That’s why we require you to come to class, in-person, and really want you to speak up so we don’t have to monologue for an hour. We’re not just looking for another way to take off points – we want you, your whole self, engaged in learning – in fact, sometimes we call class,,,a conversation.
Something special can happen when you get to know anyone through conversation….we call it intimacy.
Now please don’t be afraid of that word…another thing our culture has messed up is reducing all of intimacy to SEX.
Yes…physical intimacy is an ultimate expression of love and communication and it should be reserved for a man and woman committed to each other before God and the rest of the world.
But just think about all the movies that mess this up…
Couple meets, usually in a bar, has some one-night stand and then the next day wake up and sort of say, “how did this happen?” and “who are you?”
Then the rest of the movie..what do they do to find out if this is true love? They get to know each other…Through...talking !
Hollywood gets intimacy…it just gets the order wrong…and the morality.
We were made for intimacy THROUGH communication. Yes, even you introverts.
We were made by our creator for CO-mmunity…and CO-mmunication.
You don’t want to overshare with everyone, but find someone you can trust to keep it real. Then when you self-disclose in a relationship of trust, talking can change your life.
I always try to ask myself and my classes…how did Jesus communicate?
More often than not, He showed us how to communicate more than he told us.
I put on my scholar’s hat recently and did a little informal research with content analysis of the gospel of Luke, my favorite because he talked to so many people before he wrote it like a good journalist should.
I went through just the red-letter parts where Jesus is speaking and teaching. You want to guess how many of those teachings started out as some big arena sermons or big public gatherings versus one-on-one?
In my little study of Luke…72 percent of Jesus’s communications started as conversations…one on one…or small groups.
Sometimes right in the middle of a public sermon, Luke tells us Jesus would turn to His disciples only and say something just for them. Think of all the conversations Jesus must have had with them that we don’t get to read about.
Now…let’s step back from those scriptures and look at the big picture…
Why did Jesus come to earth?
No really….to die for our sins, to save us…absolutely, top of the list, thank you Lord.
But…why not go straight to the cross…don’t waste 30 years of growing up and then 3 years with the disciples….you’ve got a mission, get on with it.
We should also not just ask ourselves why did Jesus die, but why did He live?
I think it’s because He wanted to talk with us.
That’s how His kingdom grows, not through massive public gatherings, or mass media, but through conversations, through relationships, one-on-one, small groups, repetition, listening…responding.
Jesus centered inter-personal communication…long before public speaking.
You know that Super Bowl commercial:
He Gets Us.
Let’s change it up…how ‘bout
He Talks with Us.
(That’ll get em, buzzin’)
He came down to us…so we could have a little talk with Jesus.
Paul says it better in Philippians…
“Jesus emptied himself of all His glory and, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. “Philippians 2:7 (NIV)
And that likeness includes eyes to focus and ears to listen and a voice, to talk with us.
And by the way, if you believe God is sovereign over everything, even time, why not send His son to the 21st century?
Just think of the follower count. The likes. The retweets. The ratios. His brand would be HUGE.
But He chose…to talk.
Maybe we need to put down the phone..and talk with each other, too.
II. We need to talk THROUGH our conflicts
Secondly…we need to talk THROUGH our conflicts.
Let me ask you something….
When’s the last time you had a good argument?
Now I didn’t say an argument…I said a good argument, where you disagreed and you didn’t change their mind, they didn’t change yours, but maybe you learned something… there was back and forth, ideas, logic, and …get this….no personal attacks.
Maybe you’re even still friends.
Yeah..I thought so.
I don’t think we know how to argue anymore..and here I blame social media… a lot.
If you go to some socials expecting give and take or nuanced debate…wake up.
It kind of reminds me of an old Monty Python sketch…that we can’t play for you due to copyright issues...but this gives me a chance to show off my most excellent British accent:
(Man walks into an office and a receptionist greets him):
“Hello…I’d like to buy an argument”
“Alright sir..will that be the 5 minute or the 2 minute”
“Well…I think I’ll just start with 2 for today.”
“Yes sir…5 pounds please”
(He heads down to the office, stick his head in the door to a man at his desk)
“Hello”
“What do you want?”
“Well..I was told outside…”
“Don’t give me that..you snotty piece of parrot droppings. Shut your festering glob. Your type makes me puke.”
“ What…I came in here for an argument !”
“…Oh…sorry..this is ABUSE !...you want to go… next door”
“Thank you, thank you very much”
That’s every person on Twitter right now…
They think they’re here for an argument…but they’re getting and giving ABUSE..
And frankly…too many of us like it.
In fact, just to demonstrate what your typical argument looks like on Twitter…or..is it X now?…let’s just call it TWIX…or how about TWITS !
Anyway, just to make the point I’m going to tweet out a controversial position, right here in chapel.
(don’t look now…the Provost just had his heart skip a beat)
Okay..here we go:
(drops phone on the podium)
Look at that...I just owned the VERTS.
True confessions…that’s a fake tweet, I’ve been off Twitter for 5 years.
But, I’ve been making fun of vertical video online, and in class and in my family for over a decade…and you know what?
I don’t think I ever changed a single mind on social media.
I do support your right to shoot your phone any way you want….but when I’m gone and they pry my iPhone out of my cold dead fingers…it will be shooting video 16 by 9 horizontal, as God intended.
So…if social media is NOT the way to argue, what is?
How do we handle those difficult conversations with difficult people?
For starters, let’s look at what Jesus said Himself about handling conflict in the church:
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.- Matthew 18:15-16 (NIV)
Let’s be very clear here, Jesus is talking about church discipline when someone sins against you – he’s not giving us a universal formula for all conflict. But the principle is still pretty good.
If someone hurts you…don’t talk around them.
Don’t put out a passive aggressive blast on social media that does everything but name them. (I’ve been there…I’ve done that)
If you have a problem with them, you need to talk.
If the relationship matters more to you than being right, get in a room and go face to face.
Listen – understand – respect…TRY.
Sure it’s not easy, but people aren’t easy. We’re messed up. Me..you…everybody
But…are people worth it?
I get a lot of help here from the life and journey of the apostle Paul.
Now, let’s be clear, Paul is the author of much of the New Testament and the missionary who took the gospel to the rest of the world. He’s an amazing saint, theologian, scholar, pastor, evangelist. If he was right here I would just listen and be in awe.
But…I’m not sure I’d want to hang out with Him.
He could be passionate…blunt…forceful..and probably a little irritating.
On one missionary journey…He got run out of 4 towns in a row…
He called people in his churches foolish..and others hypocrites.
In most arguments, he was usually right – but did he handle them rightly?
Just because Paul’s writings are the inspired word of God does not mean the way he communicated or behaved was perfect.
Look at Acts.
Paul and Barnabas had been ministering together.
Barnabas is the kind of guy you’d want to travel and hang with.
In Acts 4 we’re told the church gave him a new name because of his character – Barnabas literally means “son of encouragement.”
When the other disciples weren’t sure about Paul because he was the one trying to stone them just a few years earlier, Barnabas brought Paul to them and vouched for him and then they went off on the first missionary journey together.
But then in Acts, chapter 15 it says:
“Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. 3 They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus” Acts 15:37-39 (NIV)
Luke, the writer here and another traveling companion – (yeah, that Luke)– doesn’t tell us exactly what ticked Paul off, but it had something to do with John Mark (yeah..that Mark) who was kind of young and flaky, apparently, but if you can make the son of encouragement so upset he leaves, you’ve really done something.
We also know Paul had some contact early on with Peter who was called not just to lead the church but also to take the gospel to the Gentiles. Later on, in Paul’s view, Peter kind of flaked (which let’s be honest, was kind of his thing)
“…when Cephas (Peter) came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he stood condemned. For before certain men came from James, he was eating with the Gentiles; but when they came he drew back and separated himself, fearing the circumcision party. And the rest of the Jews acted hypocritically along with him, so that even Barnabas was led astray by their hypocrisy.”- Galatians 2:11-13(NIV)
Paul had some issues….but… keep reading in Acts..and you map the rest of his life and writings on a timeline …and you’ll see a change in his communication.
He disagreed with some leaders in the Jerusalem church, he went along where he thought he could, stood firm on what he would not change – but – this is key – he went to them…talked and ….they worked it out.
They talked THROUGH their conflicts because the work of the church and their relationships together was too important to leave it alone.
And this is why I believe Paul could write two great passages that will always stick with me:
In Romans 12:
“If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone”.- Romans 12:18 (NIV)
And the verse in Ephesians that still challenges me every day:
“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is,Christ.” – Ephesians 4:15
I first heard that verse from my major professor of communication at a Christian college…and I remember it because he didn’t just tell us it was his favorite verse, he lived it.. in front of me.
I gotta tell you…I get “speaking the truth” part fine, but the “in love”part… I’m wrong just about every day.
But the God who gave me the ability to speak still believes I can use this gift well, so I won’t give up. And neither should you.
Oh…and one more thing about Paul.,,,
Remember that flaky kid..John Mark who caused Paul and Barnabas to split up.
In 2nd Timothy, which we believe Paul wrote under house arrest near the end of his life, he said:
“Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry.” – 2 Timothy 4:11 (NIV)
Paul learned people were more important than being right. He stayed in relationship...talked through the conflict and worked it out.
III. We need to talk ABOUT the things that MATTER
Finally, we need to talk about the things that matter.
Deuteronomy 6 says:
“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” – Deuteronomy 6:6-7 (NIV)
I have another confession to make…I don’t always do that.
Now part of it is growing up in the church, studying and working in Christian colleges – you’re around it so much you don’t want to overdo the churchy stuff.
But I also have a personal problem with clichés’…
I mean..I love y’all but let’s get real..we don’t always sound like regular folks:
· Regular people have an idea on the brain….we have something on “hearts.”
· Regular people tell us stuff, we “share.”
· Regular people say, “I want to do this.” We say, “be intentional.”
· And what’s all this “just” stuff – when we talk about Jesus or pray out loud, “I just need to share how the Lord..just…just…helps me to be intentional when something is just on my heart.”
We have our own language, folks.
We need to get real and make our walk and talk with Jesus and about Jesus just as natural as the air we breathe and the food we eat.,,,especially with those intimates we trust the most.
And did you know, God talk can even shows up in your classes?
I used to avoid too much of that too, even at a Christian college because I was so afraid of sounding fake.
But I’ve changed.
You come to my class, you never know when God talk is going to happen. God might be in my notes, He might not just show up spontaneously in whatever we’re discussing. He might even speak to you directly…through something you’re learning or something you hear.
Did you know your class can be a place of worship?
I’m just waiting for the Spirit to break out at 8 a.m. on a Tuesday-Thursday…..
(singing) “As long as I’m breathin’…I’ve got a reason to praise..ay..ay..ay… Comm Theory and Research !!!
If we listen God will speak everywhere, not just in this chapel auditorium.
We should listen..and we should speak His name in everything.
I’m struck by two things in Jesus’s conversations – one is how he gets right to the point….and the other how clear it is. No flowery, churchy language there.
He says:
“Follow Me”
“Who do you say that I am?
And …one of my favorite passages in all of scripture is another conversation right at the end of John’s gospel between Jesus and Peter.
They’re between the resurrection and the ascension and the men are fishing overnight and coming up empty again. Jesus tells them where to put their nets and all of sudden they’ve got fish again…but as they’re pulling them in, Peter sees it’s the Lord, he jumps in the water without thinking (yeah…he does that).
Then they’re having breakfast and look how Jesus just very naturally lets the conversation slip right into the good stuff:
“When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?”“Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.”- John 21:15(NIV)
And he goes on to ask him the same question 3 times and then Peter gets so frustrated he says “you know all things and you know that I love you !”.
“Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. Very truly I tell you, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.”- John 21:17-18 (NIV)
Jesus has this one more conversation with Peter before He leaves them…and he doesn’t leave out the things that matter.
This is important to Peter…because how many times did Jesus ask him if he loves him? – THREE.
And how many times had he denied the Lord right before the crucifixion?- THREE
You probably don’t get Peter on the day of Pentecost leading the church boldly…without this conversation by the lakeside.
We need to talk...about the things that matter.
And who was the only writer that tells us about this conversation?
It’s John – the one we started with…who said he wanted to talk face to face.
My guess is …John was a very good listener. I think he saw and understood things others didn’t see, because he paid attention. He certainly gives us stories and insights in his gospel that are different from the other three.
And he tells us he was the disciple Jesus loved, and I think that’s because they spent a lot of time together…TALKING.
Conclusion
Well….I can’t make you put down your phones and talk to each other…I can just tell you, good conversations will change your life.
I think we were made for for talking.
Why else do we have this gift of CO-mmunication with faces and voices, if not to use them to build up, and laugh, cheer, challenge and understand – each other.
God didn’t give communication to the animals.
We’re the ones made in His image.
And sometimes, when I see the posts on social, read the comments, the rhetoric from our political leaders, celebrities and even sometimes people in the church – I think, when it comes to the gift of communication… we’re blowing it.
My hope..is that we get back to communicating like Jesus, speaking the truth..in love.
So when you leave here today…I want you all to call your mamas.
Go to class if you have to but don’t forget… Mama needs to talk.
And guys..call you dads too. That conversation might be awkward, but somewhere in there he’s going to tell you he loves you – it just might sound like “hey..did you get oil changed?
Talk with each other today…maybe someone new.
Talk to me after chapel or in the caf…I’m the awkward gray headed 7th grader wandering around looking for a table with the cool kids.
Talk through conflicts…because people are more important than being right.
And talk about the things that matter…don’t let talking about your Lord wait until Sunday.
We need…to talk
Because The Word – Jesus – became flesh…and dwelt (and talked) among us.